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When Dogs Attack (Your Car)

Friday, December 13th, 2002 · 2 Comments

We’ve all seen or at least heard about that awful 1996 Fox show, When Animals Attack, right? Well, it’s not often that one gets the privilege of having one’s own dog star in the remake.

This morning was quite the adventure in dog parenting. First, Stella wakes up Jen at 5am. The only times she does that are when she really has to go out. So Jen braved the torrential downpour and took Stella outside. She returned not long later to report that Stella had done nothing. Later, when it was time to wake up at about 6:30 anyway, Stella nudged us both again, prompting us to get up for the day. Of course, no sooner are we out of bed than Stella pukes in the middle of our floor. I shoe her into the bathroom as her gurgling continues. Conveniently, she pukes a second time — on the carpet, even though she’s standing in the bathroom.

So I take the dogs out for a pee before whisking Jen off to the ferry. Happy pees. Stella will not. It’s still pouring. I’m getting even more annoyed with my dog who’s usually a perfect angel (except when she barks at people, of course). I decide that she’s just going to have to wait until I get back from taking Jen to the ferry.

On the way back up the hill to my place, I’m struggling to navigate two dogs and big umbrella across wet asphalt in the pouring rain. A car comes. I pull the dogs off to one side. As the car passes, Stella charges directly toward the moving vehicle, her teeth snarling. I pull her away and yell at her. But then I just had to smile and chuckle to myself. How many people have a dog who tries to attack a 2-ton piece of steel? Stella is a special dog, bless her soul.

(Despite what this story may imply, Stella actually is the smartest dog I’ve ever known — and the smartest dog my former housemate dog trainer has ever known, too. Part of the reason she’s so jacked up is that it’s frustrating for her to be so smart, yet trapped in her dog body.)

Today is Friday the 13th after all. It’s usually my lucky day. At least it’s still early.

Tags: dogs

2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 katie // Dec 13, 2002 at 9:37 am

    no way! otis barfed this morning too! he came to me and stuck his nose by my head and made the arrrp arrrp noise to notify me that something was coming up. In my sleep I tried to push him off of the carpet onto the wood floor. He then turned around and barfed at my feet (on the carpet) and then proceeded to try and eat the giant piece of lumber that came up again! there must be something in the air. at least he didn’t run after cars, too. otis isn’t as smart as stella.

  • 2 gabe // Dec 13, 2002 at 10:04 am

    Woah! There must be something in the air. I wonder how many other dogs around the Bay Area were barfing in synch this morning. Happy loves wood, too. That’s funny that Otis ate lumber. 🙂