Blog Master G

Word. And photos, too.

Blog Master G random header image

How to Foil a UFO Abduction

Tuesday, February 25th, 2003 · 5 Comments

The Worst-Case Scenario 2003 Daily Survival Calendar sits on my desk at work. Today’s lesson is by far the best, especially when contrasted to other days like “today in survival history,” “how to escape when tied up,” “how to take a punch,” etc.:

    How to Foil a UFO Abduction

    1. Control your thoughts.
      Do not think of anything violent or upsetting — the extraterrestrial biological entity (EBE) may have the ability to read your mind.
    2. Resist verbally.
      Firmly tell the EBE to leave you alone.
    3. Resist mentally.
      Picture yourself enveloped in a protective shield of white light, or in a safe place. Telepathic EBEs may get the message.
    4. As a last resort, go for the EBE’s eyes — you will not know what its other more sensitive areas are.

Unlike other tips and how-to guides, this one could actually come in handy. I think I will laminate this one and carry it with me. Always.

Tags: comedy

5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Suzanne // Feb 25, 2003 at 2:36 pm

    Old news! Single women everywhere have employed theses same tactics on homo sapiens very effectively.

  • 2 pete // Feb 25, 2003 at 4:14 pm

    uh, that didn’t work for me. i’d suggest an alternate plan.

  • 3 // Feb 26, 2003 at 12:33 pm

    How to foil a UFO abduction

    Yesterday’s entry of the Worst-Case Scenario 2003 Daily Survival Calendar explained how to get out of trouble in case of a UFO abduction

  • 4 Bert Sullivan // Sep 3, 2003 at 11:14 pm

    Have you seen the above site?

  • 5 Larry Hatch // Jan 26, 2004 at 2:57 am

    I hope your visitors have time for a good browse of the *U* UFO Database website:

    Maps and statistical screens are taken from 18,000+ filtered UFO sightings
    worldwide, for all dates.

    – Larry Hatch