Blog Master G

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Tuesday, December 14th, 2004 · No Comments

It’s right around 20 degrees outside this morning. I just walked the dogs. The difference between 40, where it’s been, on average, pretty much since October, and 20, is significant, especially with the wind chill, which makes it feel even colder. 20 is face-numbingly cold; 40 is go outside in flip-flops weather. 20 is too cold for my thin leather “driving” gloves; 40 is gloves-optional. 20 is hat required; 40 is naked-headable.

Saturday night we saw Ocean’s 12. I didn’t like it so much. The movie was like a big Hollywood inside joke. In many ways, the movie itself was a lie. There was nothing to figure out; no clues given. We the audience are shown one thing and in the end, Soderberg tells us, “Psych! Just kidding. That’s not what really happened. Here’s what really happened and you just weren’t cool enough to know because we didn’t tell you until now.” The whole movie I found myself just waiting for that moment to happen. It’s not even like you can guess, because it’s so far off what we’re actually shown; there’s really no way of knowing. Ocean’s 11 was better, but is still guilty of much of the same, except that you can kinda maybe sorta figure out what the crew is up to.

Jane recently writes (and hopefully won’t mind my quoting at length because it’s just so good):

An Open Letter To My Pregnant, Straight Friends

Recent evidence suggests that various biochemical factors during pregnancy can influence a woman’s children’s sexual orientation. Women who take amphetamine diet pills or thyroid during pregnancy are more likely to give birth to lesbian girls, while women who are highly stressed are more likely to produce gay boys.

Since our gay powers of recruitment are limited (Will & Grace just isn’t cutting it, and all our lesbians just end up hosting talk shows), and since we clearly need more liberals to populate those almost-blue states and tip the balance, won’t you help us out and either drug yourself up or stress yourself out?

Just think: For the price of a handful of Dexatrim, you could assure yourself a lifetime of mowed lawns, gorgeous cabinetry and perfectly functioning plumbing. Just think of how much you’ll save by buying overalls and Carhartt jackets instead of nail polish and perms. Alternately, exchange some hair-raising car rides or maybe just a few good suspense rentals on Netflix for an adoring son who decorates not only his room but yours and has no interest in going out for football.

The world needs more queers, people. Gays are tidy, productive, open-minded members of society, and we clearly need more. Do your part for the nation and the planet: Stack the deck for tiny homo progeny today!

In other news, big congrats to Steph and Dave for the birth of their new baby girl, and to Joe and Jenny for the purchase of their new home!

Tags: anecdotes