gabeanderson.com: life: wedding

2nd Anniversary Dinner

Our 2nd anniversary dinner at O'Callaghan's here in Saratoga Springs:

2nd Anniversary

Happy 2nd wedding anniversary to my beautiful bride now and always! I'm the luckiest husband around and cherish every moment I spend with you, Jenner. I love you.

One year ago: Wedding Reflections.

Wedding Reflections

I can hardly believe a year has gone by. Time flies when you're having fun.

The wedding is a wonderful memory now. I often relive that day in my mind's eye and crave to go back and experience it again. Standing next to Jen, looking into her glowing eyes, holding her hand, feeling like the luckiest guy alive. The biggest smile on my face. Feeling so nervous before the ceremony began. Hot that day in Poughkeepsie. Seeing so many friends and family coming together to help us celebrate our love. Feeling honored and like a celebrity that so many people cared. Feeling so happy to be committing my whole self to the woman I love, the woman with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. Jen is my best friend, the best thing that's ever happened to me, my wife now and always. I am lucky to have her in my life and am better for it.

The reception... people are still talking about it. Went by so fast as we made the rounds from table to table. That delicious food. The dancing. The songs. The laughs. Enoch jamming with the band. Johnny singing the Kopa Cabana. Peter telling me, "This is the most fun I've had in my life." The touching speeches from friends and family. The cake.

I love you, my bride! You mean the world to me.

The begnning of what I wrote the day after getting married: "Jen and I are now married. Husband and wife. Mr. and Mrs. Gabe Anderson. It's quite an overwhelmingly exciting feeling and one I'm not quite sure I'm ready to put in words just yet. But I wanted to write something."

So much has happened in the past year... honeymoon to Hawaii, leaving our old jobs behind, move across the country, new apartment, three new jobs between us, new house, new friends, new town...

Here's to a new year of many more memories and great times with friends and family! I love you all.

Gabe & Jen cake high-five, July 26, 2003:

Gabe & Jen cake high-five (yes, the same cake), July 26, 2004 (yes, we're cheesy like that):

An excerpt from an email to a friend tonight: "A big thank you from me and Jen here in Saratoga Springs tonight! We've been saving for a special occasion that bottle of Rochioli 1994 Pinot Noir that you brought to Thanksgiving in San Francisco last year. We decided that our 1st anniversary was the occasion to enjoy it. We're savoring it now. And it's simply incredible. What a great wine. The bouquet is amazing, the taste alive with flavors of cherry and berry. We thank you. A 10-year-old wine is, indeed, a special treat."

1st Anniversary

Happy 1st Anniversary to my beautiful wife! Marriage rules.

Jen & Gabe just married, July 26, 2003:

Jen & Gabe celebrating anniversary at Longfellow's, July 23, 2004:

100 Days

As of today, Jen and I have been married 100 days. It really doesn't seem like it. Time really flies when you're having fun. We celebrated tonight with a delicious dinner at Tommy's in the Richmond, followed by a movie.

Here's to my beautiful wife and the next 100 days and 100 years.

Equal Marriage Rights

Siva Vaidhyanathan has an excellent assessment of exactly how Jen and I have felt since getting married: "We exchanged our vows before a justice of the peace of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. And as a result, we get to benefit from the rights and privileges that Massachusetts grants married couples. And, thanks to our Constitution, those privileges extend to every other state. But there are many people in this country, some of whom are in this room, who are just as much in love, just as committed to each other, yet who cannot enjoy those privileges. We hope some day soon they can."

Wedding Porn

Not really. But now that I have your attention, I'm happy to announce the official launch of julytwentysix.com, Gabe and Jen Anderson's official online wedding (and honeymoon) photo album.

We've spent the last several weeks sifting through oodles of photos from various sources and are happy to officially announce the site today. Even though it currently houses only wedding-related photos, we will likely use the site to host future photos, with the domain julytwentysix.com symbolizing the beginning of our new life together.

Our favorite photo, taken shortly after the service outside the Vassar Chapel

Proceed to julytwentysix.com for 300+ of our favorite photos.

Marriage

I mentioned in yesterday's post that Jen and I had been at each other's throats since the end of the wedding. I realized that that may sound worse than it actually is. Not that things aren't wonderful nor that we love each other any less. Quite the contrary. I thought I would try to explain what I meant a bit more. Simply put, this explanation I IM'd to a friend earlier today is the best way to describe how married life has been:

gabe: it's good. we were talking last night about how nothing has really changed, but there's this weird societal pressure that makes us feel as though things should be a certain way.

In other words, our relationship is still the same...we still live together, go to the same jobs, care for the same dogs. But now we wear these rings and have this certificate that says we're married. And society dictates certain things about marriage -- that it should be immediately happy and wonderful. Now that we've realized this unspoken pressure and how silly it is, we're OK to move on. That and we've had time to process all the little wedding things that weren't quite right. We've accepted those and continue to reminisce about what a wonderful time it was.

Now that I know what to expect and have met Jen's entire extended family, I'm ready to go back to the wedding to enjoy it all over again.

Words

It's interesting. Since returning from the wedding and honeymoon, I haven't really been inspired to write too many words here. I've posted the occasional selection of photos, which we're still sorting through and slowly assembling into a forthcoming new site just for photos, but I guess I just haven't really felt like doing much writing.

This weekend flew by. It's Sunday night and Jen and I have both felt incredibly drained today. We did quite a bit -- went to four open houses around the city, did some shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond (hooray for gift certificates), and got some groceries at Trader Joe's. Then the rest of the night we've just been lazily lounging about, watching the Dennis Leary Roast on Comedy Central and waiting for Sex and the City to come on in about 20.

Last night was really cool -- our first interaction with friends since returning from the honeymoon. It was the Leo Trio Birthday Bash for our three awesome Leo friends -- Jeanine, Katie, and Tiffany. About 16 of us ate at McCormick & Kuleto's Seafood Restaurant in Ghirardelli Square. I had this delicious wild king salmon entree, stuffed with shrimp and crab cake.

I think we really needed a night out with friends. We had been at each other's throats since the wedding was over with, and it was good to interact with other people, share wedding photos and stories, and do something not wedding-related.

I slept until about 11 or so today, which was good (didn't go to bed until 2:30 or so this morning), but I woke up still feeling really out of it.

My body feels tired and my throat a bit sore. I hope I'm not getting sick. So I'll try to fight it off. This weekend went too fast.

Catching Up

Starting to feel better today. More on top of stuff. Returned my camera phone since the AT&T service was horrible. If you can help it, don't get service with them. Picked up quite a bit around the house. It's looking and feeling much better, but still not totally there. Got rid of all the boxes and packing material, so at least we can walk through the apartment now.

Still taking in all the wedding stuff. All these photos. I was just browsing through some of what we have on Ofoto and realized that we haven't even looked through everything yet. In fact, there are still two 128MB memory cards of Hawaii photos yet to be transferred to computer and uploaded. So much to do, so little time.

So many projects. My wife (it's great to be able to say that) tallied up what each of us spent personally on wedding-related expenses. Not even counting what went on our shared credit card, it's pretty intense. Glad those expenditures are over for now.

Yesterday we gave the dogs baths. I think I forgot to mention that when I wrote yesterday. So now they're mostly clean.

Slowly getting caught up at work, so that's good, I guess.

Feeling hot tonight. Legs are sweaty. I hate that.

We're still finding mold and stinky smells in our closet. I talked to our landlord today. His solution for everything: Paint. He suspects the water heater in the basement (who knew we had one of those in this building?) may be leaking. He's supposed to look at that. And maybe bring us some of us this mold-fighting paint. I also told him we wanted to pay less rent, given that there's a 2-bedroom directly across the street that's going for $1,500. We have a 1 bedroom, albeit with a private yard, and we pay more than that. He said he'd get back to me. Apparently "everyone" has been asking him to lower rents, too. It would be nice to save some bucks.

We did one load of many on the laundry front tonight, but still lots more to go there.

This is quite the week. We have a dinner party to attend with a bunch of friends this Saturday -- a joint birthday affair for Katie, Jeanine, Tiffany -- that I'm looking forward to. That should be lots of fun.

Weekend after this one we have at least a couple events lined up already, too -- a party for Jen's coworker's wife and a wine tasting party at Jane and Sarah's; those are always good.

The fun never ends. Hopefully I'll feel more on top of things before long. Have a couple lunches this week with friends -- tomorrow and Thursday. Good breaks from the office. Up in Marin, I usually do my own thing for lunch.

Caught up on this past weekend's Sex and the City and Real Time with Bill Maher tonight -- in between all the clean-up activities.

Wedding Hangover

Today was my first day at work as a married man. Jen and I are still coming down from our wedding high. I think we'll be in this state of wedding hangover for quite some time. Even though the wedding and honeymoon are now behind us, our house is a mess, we're still opening gifts (and tracking them on our spreadsheet), and I haven't even attempted to begin replying to the nearly 300 personal emails that have built up in my inbox. Empty boxes, bubblewrap, tissue and packing paper, and laundry are all scattered about. I'm just glad I can get to my bed to sleep.

Everything is still sort of spinning, in a way.

The dogs came home from Planet Canine today. Happy picked fights just about every day, I learned. He doesn't know what size he is, she tells me. He grabbed mouthfuls of fur from dogs of all sizes and chased them behind the igloo, she says.

My fingernails need trimming, but the clipper is nowhere to be found. Probably buried under my dirty bathing suit from Hawaii. Somewhere.

Hundreds of pictures to go through still. Need to get 6 rolls of negatives scanned. Only have 2 of the official rolls on disc so far. Need to create a "Best of the Wedding Photos" album. Or something like that.

Bills to pay. Good thing we dropped off the rent during those 3 hours of waking time that we were here on July 28 before flying to Hawaii.

Honeymoon pictures, too. Gotta put together another Hawaii photo site at some point (this is the last one).

Also trying not to think too much about all those little details about the wedding that coulda been, shoulda been. Those little things that only Jen and I noticed or think about. We could dwell all day on those things. Have to keep reminding ourselves what an incredible, wonderful day it was. And that the good far outweighs the minor annoyances. But such is human nature -- to dwell on the unchangeable that might have been different, that which has taken its place in time and cannot be undone. There's so much good in the world. Why do we think about the little things that aren't exactly the way we want them to be?

Enough of that.

The future is bright. I'm excited. There's so much to look forward to. The day-to-day stuff won't change much now that we're married. We've already been living together for so long anyway. Now we just have the legal advantages and a piece of paper. And those nice, shiny, antique (1920s) platinum bands on our fingers.

We pay too much for rent. I'm psyched to buy a place of our own. To invest in real estate. The next big challenge.

Two more weddings in the next two months. This time as guests. This month and next. One in Southern California, the other in New York.

The order in this post vaguely resembles my current state of mind.

Goin' to Get Married

From the plane on the way to New York:

Married

Jen and I are now married. Husband and wife. Mr. and Mrs. Gabe Anderson. It's quite an overwhelmingly exciting feeling and one I'm not quite sure I'm ready to put in words just yet. But I wanted to write something.

Yesterday was one of the best, happiest, and most nerve-racking days of my life. Everything was just perfect. My bride was stunningly beautiful. The flowers were bright and gorgeous. The weather was just right. The friends and the family came in force with smiles I'll never forget. It's all a bit too much even to digest. It will probably take some time.

We just saw the official photos that cousin Cyd took for us. They're incredible. I can't wait to order larger prints. Our favorite one is one that Cyd took just moments after we had left the Chapel. It wasn't planned. We're standing against the stone of the Chapel. That photo isn't yet in digital form, but it will be.

To see so many people come from far and wide and to be celebrity for a day (and night) is a pretty unreal feeling. It really made us feel special knowing that so many people care enough about us to have come to celebrate the Big Day.

I was so nervous the morning of the wedding that I felt queasy up until the service began. I was a nervous wreck. But standing there with my beautiful bride was amazing, a feeling I'll never forget. It didn't really cross my mind that there were 150 people in the pews behind us. My reading went really well. And once the service was over, I felt great. On top of the world. After the receiving line we headed down to the Jaguar limo with the red carpet and bottle of champagne on ice that sat waiting for us. That was such a great feeling.

More than a year's worth of hard work and planning paid off. Everything went off without a hitch. Jen did an excellent job.

The one thing that's been bothering me today that I'm sure I'll get over is that I discovered this morning that the end of the service was accidentally recorded over at the reception. We have a lot of footage of the reception and the first part of the service itself (including Jen coming down the aisle), but we don't have our exchanging of rings and vows on tape. I'm disappointed that something went wrong, but we'll always have the memories (and tons of great photos), and that's what counts. We're not really video people anyway and probably wouldn't watch the video too often. We didn't want a professional videographer, so that's the risk we took.

If that's the worst thing to go wrong -- and something inevitably does at just about every wedding -- then I'd say we did just fine. The service and reception were incredible and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

I really like the new ring on my finger and that Jen and I are now married. It's going to take some getting used to.

Tomorrow it's back home to San Francisco for a night, then off to Hawaii (the Big Island) through Sunday. I'm looking forward to the lava flows and mai tais on the beach.

Wedding Week

The wedding week has begun. The Big Day is this Saturday, which is hard to believe that the time has finally come. After more than a year of planning (too long), Jen and I are finally here in upstate New York. We're at her parents' place in Kinderhook now; we arrived here a couple days ago -- Saturday night. We've been taking it easy the past couple days...had breakfast yesterday with Karen and Joti, then went up to Colonie (Albany) with Tracy and Christine yesterday afternoon. I bought some funky new Mountain Creek sandals. I like them.

My little bro is on a plane right now on his way back from a 3-week trip to Europe. Lucky bastard. He flies into JFK tonight and is taking the train to Poughkeepsie, where Jen and I plan to pick him up later this evening. Then we'll all stay here in Kinderhook another two nights, then head down to Poughkeepsie again on Wednesday to check into the hotel.

Wednesday night is also when my parents and the wedding party arrives. We'll all be in Poughkeepsie through Sunday, the day after the wedding. Thursday our immediate families are having dinner at Beekman Arms in Rhinebeck, which should be fun. Then Friday, of course, is the rehearsal and the dinner. Which leaves Saturday...

Then we're off to Hawaii next week. Woohoo!

Postings may be sparse or sporadic in the coming weeks, but I'm going to try to write when I can. I won't have a computer in Poughkeepsie, so Wednesday through Saturday there most likely will not be any entries here.

Stay tuned...I'll be a married man before I know it.

On an unrelated note, I've decided to return my new camera cell phone and drop out of the focus group. The AT&T service is just horrible. There's zero service here in upstate New York, and I haven't been at all happy with the service quality. I plan to return the phone on Monday, August 4, when I'm back at work. (Not that I want to think at all about work or being back right now, but that will be cutting it quite close to my 30-day return window.) Too bad my activation fee isn't refundable, but at least I can cancel before it's too late. A cell phone should be a phone first. If it can't do that, then why bother?)

Over and out.

Wedding Debt

Jen and I aren't the only ones facing the reality of wedding debt.

SFGate via NY Times: "The survey, from the Conde Nast Bridal Infobank, a research service for Conde Nast-owned wedding magazines, also found that the average wedding now costs $22,000, representing more than five months' worth of wages for a middle-income family, according to data from the Census Bureau."

I'm not too worried about it, though. I'm used to debt. Of course, that's not necessarily a good thing. But I don't dwell on it. I know how to manage it and have never had to go a credit counseling service. And, despite recent fraudulent activity, my credit report is still excellent. (In fact, Jen and I both have credit scores in the top tier, which has a range of 720-850. Funny how the FICO score almost reads like an SAT score, huh?)

I'm now reminded of this piece I wrote for the Poughkeepsie Journal on October 19, 1998.

Marriage License

Gabe and Jen show off newly-acquired New York state marriage license outside the Kinderhook Town Hall on Thursday, July 3, 2003:

Foxtrot

Four weeks ago today Jen and I took our first group dance lesson at the Pick School of Ballroom Dance. We signed up for the beginners' package: Four group lessons (waltz and rumba) and three private lessons. Tonight is the final group lesson; we're skipping it because we're just too run down and stressed out with other wedding stuff (and have so little time to get anything done this week). We skipped the second group lesson, too.

The good news, however, is that we're learning the foxtrot in our private classes and the impossible is happening: I'm actually getting the hang of it. You see, as anyone who has seen me dance can attest, I can't dance. I suck. I can't hear the beat and I always lose count. So what ends up happening is the typical white boy shake-about, which isn't a pretty sight.

But I'm crossing my fingers and am hoping that come July 26, I'll be able to relax and actually foxtrot with success for our first dance. If not aiming to achieve this for myself, I want to do it for Jen; I know it's important to her.

(Pictured above are the steps for the waltz, which I also pretty much have down. It's the rumba that throws me off the most. Waltz and rumba are in 3; the foxtrot is in 6.)

Wedding Approacheth

This is it. The beginning of my final week at work before flying to New York to become a married man. It's a trip. The wedding has been this destination on the horizon for so long -- more than a year -- that it seems unreal that's it's only 11 days, 10 hours, 15 minutes, and 40 seconds from now. Wow. I'm definitely very excited and ready for it to the Big Day (in fact, I had a dream the other night -- again about the wedding -- that it was the day of the wedding and I was blogging about it that day. Of course, the reality is such that we'll be in a hotel and I wasn't planning on bringing my laptop along...although now that I think about it, it would be pretty cool to upload photos the same day. I'll have to think about that one.

Anyhow, over the weekend we finalized the script for the service, went to Jen's office to put together the program (with which we're both very happy), and generally just got in the mindset for the Big Day. (Hanging out at Zeitgeist Friday night and at Ron and Seana's BBQ Sunday helped to relax us, no doubt.)

I recently purchased Quicken and have been spending the last couple weeks inputting all accounts and back data (at least back through January 2003). Not counting Jen's separate accounts (but including mine and our shared accounts), it's pretty scary how much we've spent on everything. Good thing Jen's parents are kind enough to pay for the reception and some miscellaneous things here and there -- and my parents the rehearsal dinner.

It's going to be great to have our lives back when this is all over with. Hawaii is like the gold at the end of the rainbow for us. And once we're back from there, I hope to dive full-speed ahead into real estate investing!

The Gondola Ride

I thought I didn't have this picture since it never showed up among the digital shots or 35mm film we posted following our Italy trip last year. Yet lo and behold, about a month ago I realized there were still a number of photos on my 35mm camera that I had never developed. So I sent the roll to Ofoto and am extremely happy to have found this treasured shot among the bunch. This is the gondola ride on which I proposed to Jen in Venice on Sunday, April 28, 2002 (little did she know how damn nervous I was when this photo was taken; the nervousness was subsequently transferred to her after I popped the question):

Gabe & Jen moments before getting engaged in Venice on Sunday, April 28, 2002

Time Off

Today is Day 1 of 9 days off work! Woohoo! My company is closed for a mandatory vacation all next week. So Monday and Tuesday I'll be chillin' around home -- working on Larry's Web site, taking my car to get an alignment, picking up new glasses, playing with the new camcorder when it arrives on Tuesday -- then jumping on a plane for New York Wednesday morning. We'll be there through Sunday night, doing some final preparations for the wedding. We're scheduled to meet with the minister who's marrying us, the buildings & grounds folks re: the Chapel, the wedding coordinator who's going to offer us some tips (but not actually coordinate the day of the wedding), and New York state to get our marriage license.

Two days ago marked the one month countdown. More precisely, 27 days, 10 hours, 54 minutes, and 39 seconds to go.

Oh, and while we're at it, an update on the recent predictions around total number of guests: We're now at 123 guests with a handful more expected in the coming days. So Jen's winning the prediction game -- so far.

Bachelor(ette) Party in Vegas

Tomorrow 12 of us are heading to Sin City for a weekend of insanity and fun. It's the combined bachelor/bachelorette party for me and Jen. It's gonna be good. I'll have lots of pictures, I'm sure, to post here when we return. And tonight we got our tickets all squared away for what's bound to be a hot performance Saturday night of X, which features eight showgirls, including a Playboy model (this month the featured "X-Mate is Playboy lingerie model Stacey Linde"), doing the following:

"They lie together in a tub. Undress each other in bed. Act as strict headmistresses who reprimand naughty schoolgirls. It must be hot in here, because there's not much of the costumes left when the women of 'X' get done with them."

This will be my first time in Las Vegas (not counting the airport). I'm really excited for the trip.

Tonight Jen and I are cleaning up, doing laundry, and waiting for James to show up. Earlier we started to watch Shaolin Soccer, which arrived to my office earlier today. Aww yeah.

RSVP Influx Data

The RSVPs for the wedding continue to roll in. In today's mailbox there were 9 RSVPs, which bring the current total attendance (yes replies) to 70. Add Jen and me into the equation, and we're currently looking at 72 individuals attending the wedding. Woohoo! (Our projected number is 150 guests.)

Of 160 mailed-out invitations (based on addresses, not individuals), we've received 70 RSVP cards, which is 43.75% response to date. Of these, 40 RSVP cards represent 70 guests; 30 cards represent "regrets" responses. 57.14% of received reply cards represent "accepts" responses.

Based on these numbers, if we apply the same math to the 90 outstanding cards, we can predict the following: We will receive 51.43 RSVP cards with "accepts," representing an additional 90 guests, bringing the total just past our projection to 159.

Factor in conventional wisdom, which says that the majority of guests who will attend will reply early, and that brings the number down a bit. I'll guess that our total will end up being 140; Jen is predicting 130.

Guess who the numbers freak in this marriage is?

Vassar Chapel Construction

Jen and I have known for quite some time that the Vassar Chapel was going to be under construction on our Big Day -- though we were led to believe that the construction would be over by this coming summer. We found out well after we had booked the Chapel and begun other planning (it was around January this year, I believe, even though the Buildings & Grounds department had mailed the letter in November to our old Treasure Island address; it got stuck in the forwarding process for a couple months) that they were extending the renovation project for another year.

Today Shay sent me this photo (thanks, Shay!), which shows just how ugly the facade of the Chapel currently looks (and why we'll be going elsewhere for our wedding photos). It's pretty sad. I'm hoping the scaffolding won't be quite so bad come July. But, as Jen so eloquently put it, it's what's inside that counts. I agree. I'm a bit bummed, but am not worrying too much about this. So it goes.

Bostonian Akron Shoes

I went to Macy's at lunchtime today to look for new shoes for the wedding. I decided on some slick Bostonian shoes -- the Akron model with Classic First/Flex design. They're really comfortable, too, and I'm sure will go well with my tux. I pick them up tomorrow.

Antique Wedding Rings

Yesterday Jen and I crossed a big and momentous item off our wedding to do list: We purchased our wedding rings. We returned to the same shop in the Castro where we had purchased her engagement ring last year -- Brand X Antiques in the Castro.

Moments after walking into the store, we saw the ring that we immediately knew was perfect for Jen -- likely the same wedding band we had seen a year ago when we bought the engagement ring. It's a platinum eternity band that houses the same diamonds as those in Jen's engagement ring. And, like the engagement ring, the band is from the 1920s. It's beautiful.

At first, I thought that my ring would be simple platinum -- there was a rounded ring I really liked. I was going back and forth between it and a couple other square-cut modern rings. The thought of having a modern, cookie-cutter ring to Jen's unique, century-old ring didn't feel quite right, though. Then our friend Fred (co-owner of Brand X) pulled out of the other display case the ring that will soon make its permanent home on my left ring finger -- a 1920s platinum band with some serious character. Although time has eaten into the detail, the ring is carved all around with apple blossoms. And it's stunning.

We both feel really good about our choices in rings, and are eager to wear them...which is exactly what we'll get to do in 54 days, 5 hours, 20 minutes, and 52 seconds.

Gabe & Jen's wedding bands

Jen's engagement ring

Wedding RSVPs

Yesterday Jen and I received our first batch of RSVPs for the wedding. We also received a gift from our registry (salt and pepper shakers) from one of Jen's coworkers. It was really exciting to come home to a handful of reply cards. It's a great feeling to see some results, so to speak, of all the planning and hard work we've done so far. I just dropped off the invitations at the post office on Saturday, so some people are really on the ball. We got the invitation we sent to ourselves on Tuesday, and we've heard from many people on both coasts that they received their invitations then, too.

56 days, 13 hours, 12 minutes, 15 seconds to the Big Day, and counting...

Wedding Dream

On Sunday night I had my first wedding-related dream. It was the day of the service and nothing was going as planned. My groomsmen and my family were nowhere to be found. The minister wasn't around. There was general chaos in the air. The dream was caused by anxiety yet was somehow comforting. It also made the wedding, now less than 4 months away, seem much more real (it was a big reality check, in a way) -- to have been there in my subconscious and have experienced what the feeling might be like makes me feel a bit more relaxed about the whole affair (err, the occasion; I suppose use of the word "affair" in this context isn't quite appropriate).

The dream reminded me of the one I had shortly before my college commencement in 1999: I dreamt that it was the day of graduation and I was missing the whole thing. I recall having told my Mom this dream; she said that everyone has that dream. I wonder if everyone has dreams prior to their weddings about missing the event.

I suppose my wedding dream from two nights ago was the first of what may be several more to come as the Big Day approaches. Jen has already had wedding-related dreams. Of course, she's the one in charge and taking care of most of the planning, so that makes sense.

Hugo Boss Tuxedo

One of the big wedding-related accomplishments this weekend was the purchase of my tuxedo -- a Hugo Boss 3-piece from Black Tie Tuxedo in San Francisco. I never thought I'd own my own tux, but soon I shall.

I went through lots of different emotions while wearing the tux in the store -- woah, this is what I'll be wearing at my wedding; do I really need a tux that's this nice?; sure, Jen and I and our future-kids will be looking at our wedding photos for years to come; hell, it's only money and I'll only get married once. So I went for it. And I think it looks pretty darn good. It made Jen's heart go pitter-pat when I wore it, and that's what counts the most. It got the James stamp of approval, too.

(Actual Gabe not pictured.)

Me: Useless Groom

Jen just shared with me a brilliant article by Dave Barry, which helps put a lot of our recent planning in perspective:

The Miami Herald | 03/02/2003 | It's no wonder brides often turn into Frankenstein

Here's my favorite part:

And don't tell me that the groom can help. Please. The groom is useless. Statistically speaking, something like 92 percent of all grooms are male. If you let males plan weddings you are going to wind up with Skee Ball at the reception.

No, the groom dropped out of the picture minutes after he proposed. For all the bride knows, he has been kidnapped by aliens. It does not matter. The bride must plunge grimly ahead, making decision after decision, day after stressful day, night after sleepless night, until she has, at most, two remaining marbles.

What we need is a law prohibiting brides from planning their weddings more than, say, a week in advance. A bride caught violating this law would be subject to severe punishment, such as being forced to walk down the aisle to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff.

Invitation Marathon

Wedding planning has moved into high gear as Jen and I spent the weekend working on the registry Friday and Saturday, and picking what we thought was going to be our final invitation design Sunday night. We had already been to Just for Fun Scribble Doodles in Noe Valley a handful of times and knew it was the place from which we would eventually buy the invitations, since it has, by far, the biggest selection we've seen anywhere. We had even settled on what we thought was going to be the final design. Until the proof arrived via fax today. And we stopped feeling it.

So we headed back to Just for Fun yet again tonight -- and are now regulars at the joint. We had the wording. We had the plan for all the components involved in selecting wedding invitations: the invites, the inner envelopes, the outer envelopes, the reception cards, the RSVP cards, and the thank you cards. But we were back to Square 1 on the design front. We had been through every book dozens of times. There was nothing that jumped out at us.

But finally we found The One. It's simple, yet classy (at least we think so). It's not the most exciting wedding invitation ever, but it's ours. And it will go down in our wedding history as being The One.

Moral of this story: Picking wedding invitations is a huge pain in the ass. Men beware: If you've never done this before, fasten your seatbelts. You're in for a crazy ride.

Wild Wedding Idea

I wonder if Vassar has a clause against wild animals being present in the Chapel? If not, perhaps Jen and I should consider something like this for our wedding:

The Sacramento Bee -- sacbee.com -- Tigers serve as best man, maid of honor at Indiana wedding

(Thanks, Dad, for the link.)

Wedding Cake Finalist

The wedding cake selection committee has entered the final rounds of deliberation and needs your input. Below is one of the top designs being considered for the cake. Cast your vote now!

(Hmm...I'm not quite sure if that looks enough like me, though.)

Bridesmaid Dresses

One of the many wedding-related accomplishments of the past week was the final selection of bridesmaid dresses. I've probably been to the bridal shop more than any other guy in history.

Wedding Gown Finalists

Traditionally, the groom is not supposed to know anything about his bride's wedding dress, let alone see it before the day of the wedding. Jen and I are anything but traditional. Although I've decided that I don't want to see her in the dress until our wedding day, I have agreed to give her my opinion on the gowns she is considering. So I have.

And Saturday was a big day for Jen, as she had a really good experience at Bridal Galleries in San Francisco, where she found the two finalists, and has pretty much made up her mind to go with one of them. My vote is also for the first one, which is really pretty and non-traditional, like us.

One of the cool things about purchasing the gown from this place is that they'll give me a free tuxedo with purchase. Not a rental; it'll be for keeps. That rules.

I decided to archive the gown images on my Web site when I got to work this morning and found them on my laptop, which we were using on the coffee table pretty much all weekend. Jen emailed the images to all her girlfriends and her parents for input.

The Wedding Planners

Greetings from beautiful upstate New York. Here in Kinderhook, the landscape is lush green, the air is fresh, the temperature not cruelly hot, and the smell of cow dung lingers in the air.

Today Jen, her mom, and I headed to Poughkeepsie to meet with the caterer for the wedding (Chris of Christos), to check out the gorgeous Vassar campus in the summertime (we managed to get into the chapel and scope it out), and decide on location for rehearsal dinner (and snap a lot of photos that we'll be able to use in our soon-to-be-created wedding Web site). After having lunch at Coppola's, we decided that the Alumnae House was the obvious choice. This is what I felt all along in my heart was the right choice. It's just such a great building with so much character. It will be far more memorable than the back room of a somewhat cheesy Italian restaurant.

Tonight it's off to Sue and Josh's rehearsal dinner at the Carolina House here in Kinderhook, then to their wedding tomorrow.

Jen and I are still a bit exhausted from flying all night Wednesday. We took cat naps the whole way back from Poughkeepsie.

The Engagement Party

We had quite the weekend. Bobby and Shannon threw a really great engagement party for me and Jen on Saturday. About 30-40 people showed up. It was quite heartwarming to see so many good friends and family come together. Here's the thank you email that we just sent out to everyone (with link to photos from party).

Sunday Jen and I took a bunch of folks out to brunch at the Connecticut Yankee. The rest of the day we just chilled and took it easy, recovering from the exhausting day-and-a-half of entertaining.

Yesterday I worked from home to get a quote from Delancey Street School of Moving for our August 17 move to Larkspur. The quote was quite outrageous: nearly $1,000 for four men and 7.5 hours of moving time. I think the quote is bloated, since they're not allowed to charge us more than they quote, but they can charge us less -- depending on how long it actually takes. I sincerely doubt that (A) we'll have 100 boxes worth of stuff (as they estimated) and (B) it will take four ex-cons three hours to load (and three more to unload) all our stuff. I also forgot to mention that we'd be taking over some stuff on our own, too, which I'm sure will help cut down on actual time to move.

Last night Jen and I headed over to Emeryville for the latest installment of the Austin Powers films: Goldmember. It was a fun movie, but, of course, more of the same from the first two flicks -- including some recycled jokes.

I have successfully migrated my Web hosting service from Pair Networks, which served me reliably for four years, to DreamHost, which offers many more features (for the same price) that I'm excited to begin using: Web Admin Panel, PHP, MySQL, cron, SpamAssassin (woohoo! already it's cut down my SPAM intake to about zero! (yesterday evening through current moment)), really knowledgeable/friendly/responsive staff, and more!

This is my first day posting to my Blog with my site hosted by DreamHost.

The Date

As of Friday afternoon, Jen and I have a date for our wedding: Saturday, July 26, 2003 at the Vassar Chapel in Poughkeepsie, NY (with reception to follow at Christos). It seems unreal. Actually, now that we have a date, it makes it all seem more real. I'm really excited about it and know that this next year will fly by. Planning continues to come together, and our honeymoon will likely be in the Caribbean.

Saturday morning Jen, Stella, and I picked up Enoch and headed to Sacramento for a weekend to hang out with James. We arrived at his pad in Elk Grove and were greeted by a BBQ, a houseful of folks, and three tiny dogs: Maddie (aka Mad Dog), Zoe, and Tag. Stella loved the little fellas. James cooked up some mean BBQ grubs. After an afternoon of drinking and chatting, we went to Nana's house to rest, dropped off Stella, then headed out again at 11pm. Going out at that hour is something we rarely do. We hit the Limelight on Alhambra, where we found an unusually high ratio of blonde chicks with fake breasts. Jen gave me a hard time for trying to get Enoch to put the moves on the Britney Spears look-a-look with the hat.

Sunday we slept in a bit, then headed to Roseville for breakfast with Jen's aunt Liz and cousin Taryn. Mmm...Mimi's Cafe.

The Wedding Reality

The big news today is that Jen and I are getting married. That in itself is news that's nearly a month old, but we are beginning to get more serious about planning the wedding. More specifically, Jen spoke with her mom tonight, and it looks like her mom is going to be the wedding planner. She is apparently very into the planning and already has a lot of ideas. What may be the most appealing suggestion is a place in the Catskill Mountains of New York called Sunny Hill Resort. The great thing about this news is that Jen and I need not worry about planning our own wedding. After all, planning a dinner party at our home is hard enough work. (The one in the link was on 11/10/01.)

It's been a long day. It was up at 630 and out the door by 730 to take Jen's car to Mark Morris Tire for an oil change and check-up. It needed signal and brake work. Then it was off to recover what I could of the Spikes Spider wheel mount from the SF Auto Auction, which now has the Saturn. I only got the metal mounting bracket, and not the special lugnuts. Oh well...gotta cut my losses.

Here's a depressing look at the future of our country and our economy..preparing for the 100-year bear market.

And now, with less than an hour until midnight, I will try to watch what I can of Vanilla Sky before heading to bed and having to return it tomorrow.