Blog Master G

On Sunday night I had my first wedding-related dream. It was the day of the service and nothing was going as planned. My groomsmen and my family were nowhere to be found. The minister wasn’t around. There was general chaos in the air. The dream was caused by anxiety yet was somehow comforting. It also made the wedding, now less than 4 months away, seem much more real (it was a big reality check, in a way) — to have been there in my subconscious and have experienced what the feeling might be like makes me feel a bit more relaxed about the whole affair (err, the occasion; I suppose use of the word “affair” in this context isn’t quite appropriate).

The dream reminded me of the one I had shortly before my college commencement in 1999: I dreamt that it was the day of graduation and I was missing the whole thing. I recall having told my Mom this dream; she said that everyone has that dream. I wonder if everyone has dreams prior to their weddings about missing the event.

I suppose my wedding dream from two nights ago was the first of what may be several more to come as the Big Day approaches. Jen has already had wedding-related dreams. Of course, she’s the one in charge and taking care of most of the planning, so that makes sense.

To the coward with the fake email address (ButtOut@myob.com) who commented on my Smoking Ban in NYC post:

Date: Wed, 9 Apr 2003 11:55:43 -0400 (EDT)
From: Gabe
To: ButtOut@myob.com
Subject: Re: [life] New Comment Posted to ‘Smoking Ban in NYC’

Have you ever watched someone you love die a slow and suffocating death thanks to lung cancer?

I didn’t think so.

I would never wish that on anyone, not even your sorry ass.

-Gabe

http://gabeanderson.com

As I mentioned on Monday, I now have a Google AdWords ad for Vassar Blogs. So far, it’s generating quite a bit of traffic (30 clicks from 2,227 impressions, which is a 1.3% click-through rate — or CTR). What I just discovered from my referrers is that it’s even popping up in the New York Times archive search (for Vassar), which is apparently powered by Google. Pretty cool to see my ad on the NY Times Web site.

Next time you’re on the pot (especially if you’re visiting Uncle Billy Bob & Aunt Jupiter back at the ranch), think about today‘s Worst-Case Scenario 2003 Daily Survival Calendar lesson:

HOW TO SURVIVE IF YOU FALL INTO A CESSPOOL

1. Get out quickly.
   In case of falls into cesspools and septic tanks, the most common cause of death is asphyxiation from methane gas. The gas causes rapid unconsciousness; deaths in as few as two minutes have been recorded.
2. Hold your breath for as long as possible between taking breaths.
3. If you cannot climb out, give one loud shout for help.
   In-use tanks and pools will be full nearly to the top with liquid and solid waste. Do not shout repeatedly — this will deplete your air supply.
4. Once out, get at least 10 feet away from the tank before trying to catch your breath.

And remember: Always flush and put the toilet seat down. You could be saving a life.

I’ve noticed that a Google search for Vassar doesn’t display any sponsored links (AdWords) in the right-hand column. I decided to change that as part of a shameless attempt to drive more traffic to Vassar Blogs. If nothing else, it’s fun to experiment with Google’s technology and advertising model.

Any why wouldn’t prospective students or anyone else who happens to be researching Vassar want to know what goes on in the minds of Vassar alums (and students)?

If you want to do simple searches of the data in your MySQL database (and not necessarily static Web files on your site), then read on.

This is best and simplest MySQL/PHP search with paging script I’ve come across:

Using PHP to search a MySQL database and return paged results

Very easy to implement and customize for your needs and design.

Actual sign in Elk Grove, Calif. parking lot:

I agree with this notice on the New Zealand site Scoop:

EDITOR’S WARNING. THESE GRAPHIC IMAGES MAY DISTURB: The founding purpose of information sharing is to empower individuals to make informed choices. If publishing these images causes those, who would otherwise send more to their deaths or support the killing of innocents, to consider the true consequence of their decisions, then publishing is justified.

Yes, this image is disturbing. But it is the face of war. This is what happens in war: People are mutilated and people die. The U.S. government does not want us to see images like this because then the masses will not support war and Bush who does not even look at the censored images of war on TV and of course would never look at an image like this because he is freeing the people, gosh darn it.

Also, be sure to read Mark Morford’s column Who Cares About Dead Iraqis? / Body counts, Rummy’s plan, and the grisly stuff they don’t want you to see.

From Mark Morford‘s brilliant Morning Fix newsletter today:

== Bouncy Exposed Penises Of Anarchy ==
A National Guard battalion commander is being relieved of his command for running naked outside the barracks at Fort Bragg. Lt. Col. J.D. Webster was one of several soldiers seen streaking on Feb. 18, the military said, a behavior which is unacceptable and which is clearly unbecoming of a deeply and regularly sexually repressed member of the macho military who doesn’t really like the idea of anyone’s penis flapping around freely in the wind like that given the ugly connotations and the thing with the pitter patter of little soldier feet between bunkers after light’s out and the “don’t ask don’t tell but don’t stop oooh yeah yeah right there ooooh yesss who’s your daddy” policy of the military. “Scampering around naked in a drunken screaming haze because this world is so damn f–ked up and insane and Bush is a moron and you fly Apache helicopters for a living, is unacceptable behavior,” Maj. Gen. Zannie O. Smith did not say, and yes his name really is Zannie. “Now sodomizin’ a nice sleepy Texas steer, *that’s* damn good fun.”

And snippets from the associated column (Is Sodomy Patriotic? / Where naughty gay sex in Texas meets the rigid U.S. Supreme Court. Hide the children):

Do we even need to mention that each and every one of those 14 anti-sodomy states voted for Bush? Or that these are the states that tend to be the most homogeneous, the least diverse, the least culturally dynamic? Pretty much a given.
…
But as we storm into a poor, repressed nation in the name of justice and power and our smirking inarticulate president’s born-again God, killing hundreds (soon to be thousands) of Iraqis in the process, it’s good to be reminded just what sort of values we are, ostensibly, fighting to inflict upon the world.

As Mark points out, it’s legal to fuck sheep in Texas, but not your consenting, same-sex partner. And this is the state from whence our dim-witted leader hails. Need I say more?

It was surreal last night watching live on CNN as U.S. tanks crusied past dead Iraqis as they battled for control of what was then Saddam International Airport and has since been renamed Baghdad International Airport since it is the “gateway to the future of Iraq,” according to Brigadier General Vincent Brooks. More specifically, the U.S. can now use the airport to fly troops and equipment in and out of its conquered country. This war exhausts me and depresses me, so that’s all I have to say for now.