Blog Master G

However Google’s logo showed up like this for 2 minutes yesterday seems to be a mystery. It’s just too bad that they’re not in the business of making political statements. I wish the logo were still like that. Then maybe their millions of users would get the picture of what the war that will inevitably begin today is really all about.

[via The Accidental Blog via Oblivio]

This is great: The French are retaliating against the Freedom Fries bullshit by collecting thousands of Peace Pretzels to send to Bush:

bit.ch :: society :: Eat this!

Sign me up!

Buried in Bush’s speech last night, during which he gave Saddam Hussein and his sons Dumb and Dumber a 48-hour ultimatum to leave Iraq, was this line: “Do not destroy oil wells, a source of wealth that belongs to the Iraqi people.”

What Bush was really saying: “Do not destroy oil wells, a source of wealth that will soon belong to the American people more specifically to my friends in the oil industry so that we don’t have to worry about consuming the majority of the world’s resources and can keep on truckin’ guilt-free and without the need to implement systems like solar or hydrogen that would alleviate our dependency on foreign oil because if we did that my family and I wouldn’t be so damn rich and by golly without all that money I wouldn’t be living the high life here in the White House without the millions in campaign contributions I received from the oil and automobile industries so goddammit all you fucking Iraqi soldiers so help me God almighty He who is guiding me to war and also guided the September 11 terrorists to sacrifice their lives to be greeted at the gates of Heaven by 72 virgins since I and not those bastards was the one appointed by the Supreme Court to protect the American suckers I mean people when I put my hand on that Bible to claim those oil fields so you’d better not fuck them up assholes or you’ll all die which you will anyway since I’m starting a war and in war people die even though I’ve claimed that all I really want is peace but really I’m just a big bully who is leading my supposedly democratic nation which has never been the aggressor as a world power into war this week under the guise of protecting the people.”

From the San Francisco Chronicle’s story BRINK OF WAR / RATIONALE: President says U.S. must act to prevent future attacks:

Establishing democracy in Iraq “is going to be difficult,” Feinstein said. “Preventing civil war and strife is going to be very difficult. Achieving peace in the Middle East is going to be made more difficult.

“I could be wrong. Maybe none of that will happen. What bothers me is this president is so certain, so certain that he has a monopoly on truth and right, and nobody else knows anything.”

Oh, and by the way, watch out for terrorist attacks here on the homefront since we’re back to Code Orange.

One of the big wedding-related accomplishments this weekend was the purchase of my tuxedo — a Hugo Boss 3-piece from Black Tie Tuxedo in San Francisco. I never thought I’d own my own tux, but soon I shall.

I went through lots of different emotions while wearing the tux in the store — woah, this is what I’ll be wearing at my wedding; do I really need a tux that’s this nice?; sure, Jen and I and our future-kids will be looking at our wedding photos for years to come; hell, it’s only money and I’ll only get married once. So I went for it. And I think it looks pretty darn good. It made Jen’s heart go pitter-pat when I wore it, and that’s what counts the most. It got the James stamp of approval, too.

(Actual Gabe not pictured.)

Jen just shared with me a brilliant article by Dave Barry, which helps put a lot of our recent planning in perspective:

The Miami Herald | 03/02/2003 | It’s no wonder brides often turn into Frankenstein

Here’s my favorite part:

And don’t tell me that the groom can help. Please. The groom is useless. Statistically speaking, something like 92 percent of all grooms are male. If you let males plan weddings you are going to wind up with Skee Ball at the reception.

No, the groom dropped out of the picture minutes after he proposed. For all the bride knows, he has been kidnapped by aliens. It does not matter. The bride must plunge grimly ahead, making decision after decision, day after stressful day, night after sleepless night, until she has, at most, two remaining marbles.

And I’ve been trying to convince Jen of this for months:

What we need is a law prohibiting brides from planning their weddings more than, say, a week in advance. A bride caught violating this law would be subject to severe punishment, such as being forced to walk down the aisle to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff.

-The Useless Groom

Yesterday I carpooled to work with a coworker in his car (today was my turn to drive). Happy stayed at home with Stella yesterday. I put the big dog bed (where Stella sleeps and Happy tries to conquer all other times) in the closet so he wouldn’t eat it, as he tends to do when he’s home all day. The shoes were also locked in the closet, as he tends to go after those, too.

What I forgot to put up, however, were my ski gloves and hat, which were alongside the bed on the floor. When Jen got home before I did, she found one of the gloves chewed up and a hole in my ski hat. Luckily, he didn’t go after my good, more expensive glove, although the matching glove (and the match to that which he ate) is missing. So yes, this mix-matched set was what I’ve been using for skiing.

Today Jen issued Happy’s punishment for this crime: He has received a Go to Jail card. He will go directly to jail. He will not pass Go. He will not collect $200.

Yet calmly he lies at my feet, chewing the fuzz off a tennis ball. Ahh, the life of a dog.

(Clearly Jen is the creative genius in our family, which explains why my whole Web site is in text and a good percentage of the images I include here are produced by her — this entry no exception.)

fhqwhgads…everybody come on fhqwhgads…everybody’s gonna fhqwhgads…i see you jockin’ me…fhqwhgads…

Everybody to the Limit

I’ve seen Mexican wrestling live and in the flesh. Have you?

[via WIL WHEATON DOT NET]

Study Explains How Car Fans Recognize Their Loves

Ever since cars were invented, women have complained that their husbands recognize the latest Ford more quickly than they do their in-laws. A study published on Sunday may help explain why.

Jen has always given me a hard time about my inability to keep her extended family tree — and my own — in order. Now she knows why. Need I say more?

“Men with the most car-savvy recognized the cars in a holistic fashion, but cold not recognize faces as well.”

[via doctorgrosz]

Bill Maher and Woody Harrelson smoking from a bong…

Maher: “First they come for the bongs, then the pipes, then the papers. Then what are we going to do?”

Woman carrying a dessert tray…

“The brownies are ready!”

This is from the episode of Real Time with Bill Maher that first aired Friday night, March 7, 2003 on HBO. I fell asleep toward the end that night, so I’m watching it again right now.

This is one of my new favorite shows on television (along with Six Feet Under, Sex & the City, South Park, and The Daily Show with John Stewart, of course).

America: Home of the free(dom fries), land of the brave, and international stripper of human rights.

Detainees not entitled to a hearing / Guantanamo prisoners have no Constitutional rights, court rules

“In times of war, the president must be able to protect our nation from enemies who seek to harm innocent Americans,” Attorney General John Ashcroft said in a statement praising the ruling.

I’m sure that Swede Mehdi Muhammed Ghezali is just the U.S. enemy “who seek(s) to harm innocent Americans.” Please, oh please, Ashcroft, protect me from this international terrorist. And toss in some freedom fries while you’re at it.

bit.ch :: opinions :: Free Mehdi Muhammed Ghezali